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NEED TO KNOW
- A woman said her boyfriend’s mom regularly let herself into his apartment without calling or texting first
- When she said she would not move in unless it stopped, her boyfriend accused her of making him choose sides
- Reddit commenters warned her the issue could signal deeper boundary problems if the relationship continued
A woman turned to the Reddit community for advice following a growing conflict with her boyfriend over his mother’s constant and unannounced visits. The 23-year-old explained that while she loved her partner, the situation left her questioning whether moving in together was the right next step.
In her post on Reddit, she said she and her 26-year-old boyfriend had been together for two years and were discussing living together. “I really do like him and I can see us living together for sure,” she wrote, before explaining that his mother’s behavior made her uneasy.
According to the woman, her boyfriend’s mother regularly showed up at his apartment without texting or calling first. “She just uses her key and walks in,” she wrote, adding that sometimes the visits were brief and other times completely unexpected.
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The poster admitted she did not even know why her boyfriend’s mother had a key to the apartment. She said whenever she asked him about it, “he just switches subjects,” which only added to her discomfort.
She explained that she had already tried to communicate her feelings to her boyfriend. “I told my bf before it lowkey makes me uncomfortable,” she wrote, but said he brushed it off and told her it was “not worth making her mad.”
Things came to a head when the couple was in the middle of an argument and his mother suddenly walked in. “It was SO awkward,” she recalled, explaining that his mom acted as if nothing was wrong and started talking about her garden.
After that incident, the woman told her boyfriend she did not want to move in if the situation stayed the same. “I said she can’t just have a key and come over unannounced,” she explained, emphasizing that she wanted basic privacy.
Her boyfriend did not take the conversation well. She said he became quiet and told her she was “making him choose between me and his mom,” a claim she strongly disagreed with.
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The situation escalated further when his mother became emotional after he raised the issue. “His mom CRIED when he brought it up,” the woman wrote, admitting the reaction made her feel like “the worst person ever.”
Commenters were quick to reassure her that her concerns were valid. One warned, “He is never going to have healthy boundaries with his mom,” while another said that if he could not set limits now, “maybe moving in together isn’t the best idea.”