Woman Refuses to Attend Wedding Because She Doesn’t Want to Be ‘Exhausted’ on Birthday Next Day

A woman wants to refuse a wedding invitation to avoid being “exhausted” on her milestone birthday the next day.

The 29-year-old woman asked Reddit users in a post on the platform’s “Am I the A——” forum if she would be in the wrong for skipping her brother’s girlfriend’s sister’s wedding next summer because it takes place the day before her 30th birthday. Instead, she wants to celebrate her birthday “big” by going on “a fancy vacation.”

“What should I do?” she asked. “Would I be the a—— if I go on a vacation instead of the wedding?”

The soon-to-be birthday girl explained that weddings are “celebrated big” in her country. The ceremony takes place two hours away from where she lives, and everyone would likely “party” late into the night “until 3 or 4 a.m.,” meaning that she and her boyfriend would need to book a hotel room and drive home the next day, which would be her birthday.

Before the woman received her wedding invitation, she was planning on taking a two-week-long vacation. Neither her vacation flight nor her wedding hotel have been booked, but she needs to make a decision soon.

The Redditor’s friends side with her reasoning for skipping the wedding, however, her parents are urging her to schedule her vacation for another time, either “before or after the wedding,” noting she’s “off work the whole summer.”

“They also said that I could take a flight on my birthday,” the woman wrote. “But honestly, even if I do go to the wedding, I would either be exhausted on the next day and would have to drive home for two hours or would be on a plane on my birthday. Or, if we go, we would leave earlier and drive home, so that we can celebrate my birthday non-exhausted.”

The bride and groom are aware that their ceremony falls the day before the woman’s birthday, and have offered to “sing happy birthday” to her. However, the woman notes “they seem a little fake,” and like to “pretend that we are one big happy family,” despite “rarely doing anything together.”

Several Redditors pointed out that the wedding of a “brother’s girlfriend’s sister” probably isn’t as mandatory as an immediate family member’s nuptials, so it might not be too much of an issue if she doesn’t attend.

“The groom and bride are not close enough to you to waste your time with,” one person commented, with someone else agreeing, “You’re not obligated to sacrifice your milestone birthday for your brother’s girlfriend’s sister’s wedding — that’s like three degrees removed.”

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Other Redditors argued that the woman could easily attend the wedding and not be exhausted the next day if she leaves at a reasonable time.

“I get that you have free will and whatever, but weddings only happen once. Nobody is forcing you to stay there until 3 or 4 a.m.,” a Reddit user wrote. “You could just make it an earlier night so that you get enough time to sleep before the drive or flight.”

Another individual warned, “You can decline any invitation you want, but it’s going to have consequences. I’d recommend just leaving early if you want to celebrate your birthday the next day rather than skipping altogether.”