Woman Moved Her Family into a Home with Her Husband’s Grandma. Now Pregnant, She’s Demanding Out of the ‘Setup’

A pregnant woman is fed up with living with her husband’s family, as his grandmother constantly pushes her boundaries.

Venting about the living situation in a post on Reddit’s “AITAH” (“Am I the A——?”) forum, she explained that her husband — whom she married a year ago after “several years” of dating — has lived on the same property with his family for 13 years. She has since moved into the property with their children.

“His grandmother lives in the larger lower-level unit, and we live in the smaller upper unit,” she said, adding, “It functions like a split-level duplex, but he always refers to it as ‘one house,’ even though it’s really two separate living spaces connected.”

When she initially moved-in, the woman’s son had to sleep in the grandmother’s downstairs unit, due to limited space upstairs. “He shared a bedroom with my stepson,” she explained. “I hated the setup, but at the time I didn’t feel like I had the power to demand changes.”

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The woman said she raised concerns about the living situation to her husband after they tied the knot. She feared that her son would feel like she was choosing someone else over him, or that the grandma’s unit would feel like “his ‘real’ home instead of being with me,” she said.

“On top of that, his grandmother does not respect me, my rules, or my boundaries as a parent,” the woman said. “She gives the kids whatever they want, overrides me constantly, and treats the kids like they’re hers. She sees her house as the primary home, and everything I try to set as a parent gets undone the minute they’re with her.”

“Now I’m pregnant, and we are completely out of space,” the woman continued, complaining about the crowded living space. “We need an actual family home with privacy, consistency, and boundaries.”

To solve the dilemma, she said, “I suggested two possible solutions: 1. We switch houses with his grandmother so we can have the bigger space, or 2. We switch houses with his parents across the street.”

The woman said her husband has accused her of overreacting when she makes suggestions about their living situation. “But I feel like we’ve been living in his family’s world for years and I’ve just had to adapt,” she said. “I want our own home, our own routines, and to raise our kids without interference.”

“So I told him that I no longer want to live under the same roof (or same building) as his grandmother,” she continued. “I need a separate, private home environment for our family. He acts like I’m being unreasonable for wanting to move or change the setup.”

Many Reddit users criticized the woman for moving her son into a situation she deemed undesirable and waiting so long to voice her frustrations. Others also criticized her “possible solutions” for being too demanding of her husband’s family.

“The time to have this conversation was before marriage and kids not after,” one user said, as another added, “Boundaries must be established before problems escalate.”

A third commenter criticized the woman “for moving your son into a home where there wasn’t space for him,” stating that the origin of their dilemma dates “back when you chose this man and his enmeshed family to join.”

“Now you want to change things, but your husband has never, ever, given any indication that this change was something he would ever want or support,” the same user continued. “You wanted to be with him so badly that you chose not to think about how this would affect your children in the future.”

“And on top of that,” a different Reddit user added in part, “now her solution is making other family units switch houses at her convenience instead of having been working together with her husband all this time to get their own house that suits their needs.”