Woman Conflicted Over Boyfriend’s Friendship with Co-Worker Who ‘Absolutely Hated’ Her, Says She’s Trying to ‘Stir Drama’

A woman turned to the Reddit community for support after feeling increasingly uncomfortable about her boyfriend’s relationship with a co-worker who once openly disliked her.

She explained that while their relationship was healthy and drama-free, “the only thing we ever fight about is work” because his 22-year-old co-worker had acted strangely around both of them.

In her post, she shared that before she and her boyfriend began dating, this co-worker “absolutely hated me” and would talk badly about her while making “weird borderline inappropriate jokes” with him.

She said the sudden shift in tone happened the moment he asked her out, writing that the co-worker “suddenly flipped and became super ‘nice’ even though she’d made it very clear she couldn’t stand me before.”

The couple worked at the same place, though in different departments, which made navigating the tension tricky. The poster said her boyfriend had initially stopped talking to the co-worker “out of respect for me,” a choice he brought up first, and she had agreed with at the time.

Months later, during an argument, she told him she didn’t want to be controlling and that “he could talk to her if he wanted,” a decision that seemed fine at first. But the frustration returned once they resumed normal workplace interactions, and she admitted that “every time he brings her up, my mood switches instantly.”

She emphasized repeatedly that she trusted her boyfriend completely and didn’t believe he was doing anything wrong. Instead, she said it was the co-worker’s behavior that bothered her, coming to her with things she claimed were lies to push boundaries.

“It makes me feel like she’s trying to stir drama or make herself seem closer to him than she is,” she wrote, noting that these interactions always seemed designed to get a reaction.

Because the topic resurfaced so often, it had become the only thing she and her boyfriend argued about. She said she struggled to hide her irritation and felt drained from repeatedly explaining why the dynamic made her so uncomfortable.

One commenter offered direct advice, writing, “Tell your boyfriend the truth without sugarcoating it. Tell him you trust him but you’re done pretending you’re fine with someone poking the bear every chance she gets.” They added that she didn’t need him to cut contact again, but instead “to take this seriously enough to set some boundaries with her on his end.”

The commenter also warned her about the effect of her reactions, explaining that she needed to work on keeping her cool because she was “teaching both of them to push your buttons at this point.”

They reminded her that “it’s never the women he tells you about that you need to worry about,” pointing out that if something inappropriate were happening, he wouldn’t mention the co-worker so openly.

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“You need to stop allowing this girl to make you so upset,” another countered. “She isn’t worth your stress. If she wants to be b—– that’s on her.”