
Donald Trump is a whole lot of things but a broker of peace and unity will never, ever, ever, be one of them. Recently, the MAGA führer and his band of obsequious bootlickers have been campaigning for him to be honored with the Nobel Peace Prize. Yes, you heard that right, Donald Trump believes that he is deserving of an award to honor the greatest humanitarian of a given year.
Here’s what the esteemed award is supposed to symbolize via NobelPeacePrize.org
With regard to the Peace Prize, the will of Alfred Nobel stipulated that it was to be awarded to the person “who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses”. Over the course of time the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded in recognition of many different kinds of peace work and concepts of peace.
The idea that the Orange Man is worthy of such a prize would be laughable if he wasn’t serious about “winning” which is actually the opposite of award’s purpose. The Nobel Peace Prize is not a box to check on your resume, it is not a championship trophy, in fact, it’s not something that one should be aiming to receive. The whole point is to do things for society and the world at large, not for personal accolades. But alas, Donald has the ability to subvert and sully even the most altruistic of endeavors. A true scumbag in its purest form.

Fortunately, someone who has actually done the work has been given the prize according to AP News reporting. María Corina Machado, Venezuelan opposition leader, has been named the Nobel Peace Prize recipient of 2025 by the Norwegian Nobel Committee. The committee cited her “tireless work promoting democratic rights for the people of Venezuela and for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy.” as their reasoning. None of which would apply to Donald in any way, shape, or form. What’s worse, Don is currently attempting to take credit for the recently announced ceasefire between Israel and Gaza. A ceasefire that no one believes in due to Israel’s insistence on bombing the region to the tune of 67,000 Palestinian deaths according to NPR.
It should come as no surprise that Donald’s administration is salty about the “snub” and their bitter reactions are objectively embarrassing. Peep this social media quote from MAGA communications director Steven Cheung.
“He has the heart of a humanitarian, and there will never be anyone like him who can move mountains with the sheer force of his will,”
Wipe your mouth, Steve. You got some…stuff on it.
Nobel Chair Jørgen Watne Frydnes made it clear that self-serving campaigns will not be considered when the committee makes its decision.
“We receive thousands and thousands of letters every year of people wanting to say what for them leads to peace,” he said. “This committee sits in a room filled with the portraits of all laureates, and that room is filled with both courage and integrity. So we base only our decision on the work and the will of Alfred Nobel.”
Frydnes also defended his and the committee’s decision to not grant Orange Man did not get his wish.
Hopefully, Orange Man takes his L better than Drake took his.