Busy College Student Says She Doesn’t ‘Deserve’ to Be Yelled at by Parents for Not Cleaning the Kitchen After Dinner

A college student who lives at home says she keeps getting “yelled” at for not doing her fair share of the housework, but she thinks her parents are being unreasonable.

The 21-year-old shared her story on the popular Reddit forum, “Am I the A——?”, a place where Redditors can go to seek input on interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman shared that she is currently “a full-time double major” in college and has a part-time job that she works “one to two times a week and about two Saturdays a month.”

The original poster (OP) also said that while she lives at home with her parents and three younger siblings, she is “not home a lot of the time,” and is often not there for dinner specifically.

Despite frequently skipping dinner, the OP says she is “consistently getting yelled at” for not clearing up after a meal she didn’t eat — and that last night was the “final straw.”  

“I got home at about 7:30 p.m., dinner was over, there was still stuff out to be put away and the dishes needed done,” she explained. 

The young woman said she headed to her room, assuming that one of her siblings — ages 17, 10 and 7 — would help clean up as they were the ones who actually ate the meal. However, she said that there was still a dirty pan on the stove the following morning, and that her mother started “yelling” and “cussing” at her when she saw it.

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“This has happened multiple times,” the OP continued, adding she feels she doesn’t “deserve to be yelled at like this.”

“So, am I the a-hole?” she asked at the end of her post.

Redditors had mixed reactions to the OP’s situation. One person said that the student should not be expected to clean up after a meal she didn’t eat.

“This is really simple math. If five people have dinner, it is not a sixth person who [should clean up] after them. Especially not a sixth person who didn’t sit down to/wasn’t home at the time of that dinner. And even more specifically, a sixth person who didn’t even consume any of that dinner later. Unless your name is Cinderella, it is inexplicable/insane that your family (of FIVE other people!) would expect you — a person who is hardly ever home or in their presence — to clean up after them. NTA [not the a——],” one person said.

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Others said they thought the OP should happily contribute to basic household tasks, especially because she is likely living with her parents rent-free.

“ESH [everyone sucks here]. You’re 21, and a grown adult. You live (presumably) rent-free at home and absolutely SHOULD be carrying your weight around the house. Yes, cleaning, cooking, chores, etc,” one person said. 

They added, “That said, it might not make sense for you to do dishes after dinner when it’s hit and miss when you’re home AND there are able-bodied other kids at home who can do that.”

Someone else suggested that the OP sit down and have a mature conversation with her parents about household responsibilities.

“Sit down and have a conversation about expectations. You are living in your parents’ home, so it’s reasonable to expect you to contribute. If cleaning up after dinner (regardless of if you ate the meal or not — they still cooked it) does not work for your schedule, maybe there’s another chore you can contribute to the house, like yard work every other weekend,” they said.