Stepmom Orchestrates Photo Shoot for Husband and His 2 Kids. When Their Grandmother Asks for the Pictures, She Says No

A stepmom doesn’t want to share her family’s photo shoot when her stepkids’ grandma asks for individual pictures.

The original poster (OP) shared their story on Reddit’s AITA and explained that her husband has two daughters from a previous relationship, who have lived with them full-time for the past three years. She explained that her stepdaughters’ relationship with their own mom is complicated, and that when the living conditions became unsafe, they moved in with OP and her husband.

OP said her husband was paying child support for a while, but they didn’t know where the money would go. He would split the money in half — paying some on the 1st and some on the 15th — and the girls’ mom would still blow through it. Eventually, they came to live with OP and her husband, and since then, they’ve paid for everything. Their mom doesn’t pay child support and is only responsible for the girls’ flights when they visit here — and even then, their grandmother often steps in and covers for her.

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OP explained that she’s the one who handles “95% of the parenting duties” and does all the pick-ups, drop-offs, activities, and therapy sessions. She said she’s rearranged her own work schedule to be around her stepkids’ schedule and noted that she’s happy to do it. OP said she loves the girls and is happy to be there for them.

She recently realized they’d never taken a family photo, so she set up a session. She booked the shoot, paid for it, and coordinated outfits and hair appointments. When the pictures turned out great, her husband posted them on Facebook.

The next day, OP’s older stepdaughter told her that her grandma loved the pictures and asked if she could send her individual pictures of the girls. OP was upset and told her husband that she wanted to send a “polite message” explaining that she’d orchestrated the entire session and isn’t comfortable sending individual photos for someone else to “redistribute or use in ways I didn’t intend.” She offered to send other photos instead.

OP said her husband thinks she’s being petty and that they’re just pictures. But she explained that she thinks it’s weird for the grandma to be asking for the photos through the kids, and noted that she does this often.

OP said she doesn’t want the photos ending up with their mom and shared that the photos were meant to be something special for their family. Now, with the grandma asking for individual pictures, OP said it feels like they’re cutting her and her husband out. She said she’s been raising the kids for years and still feels like she’s being made to feel like she doesn’t belong. She asks if she’s wrong for not wanting to send the photos.

In her comments, many agreed that OP was in the wrong and was being petty.

“OP, please seek therapy. I say that with all the kindness. You sound burned out and in score keeper mode,” one person said. “Please be kind. Please love these girls more than you despise the adults in their lives. Role model what grace and kindness look like – always.”

“It’s their grandmother. Their blood. Their family too. She probably has a lot of pain in her heart about this whole situation and kindness matters for her,” they continued. “You’re being petty and unkind. Of course she’s going to ask for individual photos of her grandchildren.”

“Send the photos – heck frame them first. Do everything you can to foster a good relationship with adults that care. These girls are already going to have a mother wound so anything to help prove there is love there matters.”

Another person said the point of doing the photo shoot is sharing pictures of her family, so they don’t understand why OP would restrict them from someone else.

“The whole point of having photos done is to send copies to all the family. Like, if you aren’t sending the pics to Grandma what even is the point of getting photos done?” they said. “You buy a couple of matching frames, pop the photos in, that’s Grandma’s Christmas present from the grandkids and she’s thrilled to bits. YTA and you should be thinking about the kids here, not yourself.”

A third person pointed out that the grandma is just trying to stay in her granddaughter’s lives.

“YTA. grandma is trying to stay in their lives, let her. your husband posted to Facebook, which means the pictures are out there forever,” they said. “Your claim to want to control distribution is far too late.”

“Print and put the pics in a nice frame and let the kids give them to grandma as their Christmas present to her. Grandma rightly has zero interest in the adults. Those pics are for you and kids,” they added.