Woman, 18, Secretly Applied to College in Another City without Telling Her Boyfriend— Now He’s Calling Her ‘Selfish’

A woman is being accused of betrayal after failing to keep her boyfriend in the loop when it came to her college applications.

The 18-year-old woman explained on Reddit’s popular “Am I the A—–” forum that she’s been with her 23-year-old boyfriend for two and a half years and he’s planned for them to move into an apartment together after she graduates from high school.

“I’ve smiled and nodded because it sounded nice in theory, but I’ve also always had my own dream: to study at my dream uni in another city,” she said. 

Having secretly applied to the college, the woman revealed how her boyfriend reacted once her acceptance letter arrived.

“He completely flipped, said I ‘lied, wasted’ his time and ‘strung him along,’ that I’m selfish for not prioritizing our relationship,” she recalled. “He’s now telling our mutual friends that I blindsided him.”

The woman said there are varying opinions among their friends, as some think “you’re young, go for your dreams,” while others say, “you led him on and broke his trust.” She noted that this has caused her confusion as to whether she did the right thing or not.

“From my perspective, I didn’t promise him I’d move in, I just didn’t fight every time he talked about it,” she said. “I’ve always been clear that school is important to me, but I also understand how it looks from his side.”

Several people in the comment section noted that the age difference between the Redditor and her boyfriend was problematic and that since her boyfriend was the older one, he held a bit more power in the relationship.

One person wrote that they thought the girl’s boyfriend could have been “manipulating” her “towards the future he wanted” and got angry “when he found out you’re an actual person with her own goals and aspirations and had every intention of pursuing them.” 

The commenter suggested, “Enjoy college with a clean slate and not wasting your time having to call someone every night and assure him you’re not cheating. Or him being that annoying dude who wants to stay over in your dorm every night and piss your roommate off.”

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Another person commented, “Sounds like he was trying to lock you down to be a dutiful little housewife before you were old enough to see it. ‘Our future’ and talking about apartments with an 18-year-old is just gross.”

The same person added, “Well done for holding on to your plans. You’ll look back on all this very differently in ten years, believe me.”

“You have your whole life ahead of you,” a third person chimed in. “Congrats on getting into your dream uni! I hope it’s amazing. There are other- better- men out there who will be happy to support your goals instead of trying to make you choose.”