NEED TO KNOW
- A person is asking if they are in the wrong for not wanting their son’s grandmother to take him on a trip two hours away
- In a post on the AITA subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that their husband’s stepmother takes their 3-year-old son on camping trips without either of his parents’ knowledge
- OP ended the post asking if they were in the wrong for not wanting their son to go on the trip, especially without them knowing about it
A mom is asking if they are wrong for not wanting their son’s grandmother to take him on a trip two hours away.
In a post on the AITA subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that their husband’s stepmother goes camping every weekend. OP admitted that while they have allowed their 3-year-old son to attend some of these trips, whether it was alone or with their husband, there is one problem that keeps coming up.
“The problem is 2 separate times now she has planned to take my child camping 2 hours away without asking or even telling us,” OP wrote.
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OP shared that the first time they found out that the grandmother was trying to take the toddler on the trip without his parents knowing, OP’s sister-in-law, who’s only a teenager, told them. The mom also explained that the second time the grandmother made these types of plans was a few minutes before they posted this thread on Reddit.
“The second time was 10 minutes ago,” OP wrote. “I asked her if she was planned on taking him camping because he has been having some bathroom issues. She stuttered before admitting it (you could tell she had no intention to tell us).”
OP ended the post asking if they were in the wrong for not wanting their son to go on the trip, especially without them knowing about it.
Many commenters agreed that OP wasn’t in the wrong for not wanting the boy to be taken two hours away without notice. One user suggested that the mom may want to stop overnight visits for now until the grandmother can rebuild trust.
“Sounds like it is time for no overnight visits until she can be honest of where your child is going to be at,” the user wrote. “What happens if your child gets bit by a rattlesnake, and you don’t know where he is? What happens if he breaks a limb? What happens if she gets hurt and he’s left there alone and you guys are assuming he’s at her house. But they’re out in the woods.”
“What she is doing is dangerous. A parent should know where their child is at all times even if they’re with other family members, they need to know the location,” the commenter added. “You need to put your foot down and put some boundaries in place before something bad happens.”
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Another user echoed their sentiments, saying that anything could happen on the trip and stressing how important it is for clear communication.
“Consider that this trip is potentially 150 miles (or more) away from you. Without knowledge of the trip, in the event of an accident (car) where the adults are unable to contact you, your child is literally lost,” they wrote. “This is a situation that no parent wants to even imagine, and it could end tragically.”
“Zero tolerance is the only way forward,” the commenter continued. “If they inform you and all are consenting, great but, to take off without you being asked is absolutely kidnapping in my view. You should bring up these issues with her and not allow your child to go unless there is clear communication regarding any excursions out of town.”
Another commenter agreed with the other users and reiterated that OP shouldn’t leave their son in his grandmother’s care without one of his parents with him.
“Until you are satisfied she won’t try this again, make sure your son is never in her care without you or your husband present,” they wrote. “As a parent, you have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to such excursions.”