ONTD Original 💔 The Curse of January

While the Amy Schumer, her filthy staircase, and her husband got an early start by splitting in December, statistically speaking, they won’t be the only celebrity couple breaking up or heading to family court in 2026. Let’s talk about the curse of January. ONTD Lawyers are likely already familiar with the phenomenon: January is the most popular time for couples to split up. So popular in fact, it has earned the designation of being called “divorce month” and the first working Monday of January being called as “divorce day” by those in the legal fields. “It is absolutely true that the first month of the year, and in particular the first half of it, is the highest for either new clients or divorce filings,” attorney Laura Wasser, who has represented multiple celebrities in their divorces. “Definitely that first week back is always very busy.”

Using gut math and as little reading as possible, here are how some couples might fair.

Ali Wong and Bill Hader

It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve broken up, and apparently, this break up is probably true. Let’s blame Amy, because… Bill was in Trainwreck. Look, I didn’t promise this would be a good ONTD Original.
Odds: 100%

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell

What can I say, when they say so much? Dax’s contempt for Kristen is palpable, though she believes he’s happy when she shines.
Odds: 10%

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater

Fans have been Thank u next since first seeing his face, and then learning he dumped a baby. Rumors of break up have circulated their entire relationship, with most citing their lifestyle differences taking their toll now that novelty has worn off. Ariana cannot go anywhere without entourage/security detail, while brotherly Ethan is still able to browse donut shops without being recognized.
Odds: 80%

Hailey Bieber and Justin Bieber

A tour of their relationship will have you feeling sorry for a stunning nepo-baby with a hit beauty line. Ditching her, slamming doors in her face, wearing crocs with sweats to her big event. Depression is still not an excuse to devalue your partner. God’s timing is always right, Hailey. And God has given you a new January.
Odds: 20%

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shellfish

They’ve always seemed like a weird fit, until you realize she’s from that part of Orange County. The MAGA part. Gwen, whatchu waiting for? The pair overcompensated on New Year’s with drunk kiss photos.
Odds: 30%

Leonardo di Caprio and 27 year old

I don’t remember her name, but to be fair, does he?
Odds: 99% he’s never “defined the relationship”

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez-Bezos

Rumors swirled immediately that the marriage of Bezos and Alive Girl, hit the skids because Sydney Sweeney came to the wedding and she also has huge, bolted on titties. Honestly, OP thinks these two are still disgustingly in love.
Odds: 1%

Harry Mountbatten-Windsor and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex

Royal watchers (old white women) have been speculating the marriage is collapsing as Harry wants the kids thrown away educated in a UK boarding school, and their source is *check’s notes* a conversation he had with Joss Stone.
Odds: 25%
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*Average weight of a man, per Alexa

Sources
1 Divorce Day 2 Ali Wong and Bill Hader 3 Justin Bieber hates Hailey so much

Rumors
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

ONTD, have you had a break up in January?